


You're Not Real

by im_alive_grace



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame, Hallucinations, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 20:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17049773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_alive_grace/pseuds/im_alive_grace
Summary: Lack of food, water, sleep and oxygen. It was only a matter of time until Tony lost his mind on that spaceship.





	You're Not Real

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LivingasLinn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingasLinn/gifts).



“You’re going to start hallucinating.” Nebula said. 

“What about you?” Tony croaked. 

“Thano's built me to withstand more than the average human body. When the oxygen runs out I’ll just dose off to sleep.” Nebula said. 

“I don’t know what’s worse.” Tony said. 

“Yours.” Nebula said. 

Tony looked over to the fuel gauge. Less than 5% of oxygen. He estimated than meant less than three hours, give or take half an hour. He had spent the past month in this ship trying to figure out where it all went wrong. They should’ve gotten back home by now. But crashed spaceships apparently have more faulty wiring than he thought and they used more gas than they should have. Floating back to earth could’ve been possible but their supplies would’ve never made it. This is where he dies. No one will ever find him. The world has always been cruel, but he never thought this much. 

“Do you mind leaving me alone?” Tony said. “I don’t want you to see me-“

“I’ll be in the cockpit.” Nebula said. 

Tony had felt the air getting thin an hour ago. It was about ten minutes ago he felt his lungs struggling to take in a full breath. His head was getting fuzzy. 

He weakly lifted his body up in bed, resting his weight in the wall. Tony tried to focus his eyes on the opening to the cockpit, but a noise was coming from his left. He slowly looked over to see a man similar in his age. Blonde hair and striking blue eyes, wearing casual clothes. His legs were pulled close to his chest, arms holding them close. It was Steve Rogers and he was lazily looking over at Tony. A small smile on his face. 

“Tony, this is an odd position we’re in.” Steve said. “Last time you were pulling me out of the ice, now I’m pulling you out of your fog.”

“You are my fog.” Tony said. 

“Detail...but those always mattered to you, didn’t they.” Steve said. “It always seems you just jump into fights, but I see you analyzing situations. You never go in without a plan.”

“Didn’t we have a fight?” Tony mumbled. 

“We did.” Steve said. 

Tony felt himself getting cold. He leaned over to Steve. A part of him knew the man wasn’t really there. Another part of him was getting warmer from the contact. 

“I want to be angry with you. But you weren’t trying to hurt me.” Tony said. 

“I wasn’t choosing between you and Bucky either.” Steve said. 

“I know that Steve.” Tony said. 

“You’re crying.” Steve said. 

He couldn’t find the strength to lift his hand and check if Steve was right. Tony knew that Steve doesn’t lie without a reason. He’s spent long nights thinking about Serbia. Tony knew he wasn’t all wrong in how he acted, but Steve wasn’t either. 

“I wish I talked to you before...before I died.” Tony said. 

“Then don’t.” Steve said. 

“I can’t prevent this.” Tony said. 

“You can Mr. Stark.” Peter said. “You can do anything.” 

Steve was gone from his side. Tony had to pull himself back up, no longer feeling the strength of Rogers to hold him about. Across the room Peter Parker. His legs crossed, posture straight and perfect, a huge smile on his face, messy brown hair. Peter sat on one of the other beds, looking so casual. 

“Peter.” Tony gasped. “Wait, Steve, where did-” 

“Mr. Stark I really don’t want you to be sad right now.” Peter said. “What can I do to make you feel better?” 

He knew he should be worried about where his brain put Steve, but there was Peter. His kid, unharmed and smiling and happy to be here. And god did he look real.

“Call me Tony.” Tony mumbled. 

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” Peter laughed. “I do have a story I could tell you.” 

Tony’s head felt like he was floating. The room was melting into his lab, into the many nights those two have sat there working, talking, laughing. It wasn’t uncommon for Tony to recollect a memory of his past to Peter. It was a bit more off for Peter to do so, but Tony would always sit there listening with complete concentration. He was always there for the boy when Peter needed him. 

“I was that boy at the Stark Expo.” Peter said. 

“Pete.” Tony said. 

“You always knew but you never talked to me about it.” Peter said. 

“Because I thought we’d have more time.” Tony said. 

“You know that’s not the reason.” Peter said. 

Peter looked so young. He was so much younger at that Expo. Tony couldn’t imagine what was going through the kids head at the time and it terrifies him. 

“I don’t want to hear that you idolize me.” Tony said. 

“What’s so wrong with that?” Peter asked. 

“I’m not good enough.” Tony said. 

“But you are Tony. You always have been.” Maria Stark said. 

He saw his Mom sitting on the piano stool. Her hand resting on his shoulder. Tony saw that his hands were frozen over the keys. A slight tremble was starting up his left hand. It was like Peter was never even there and that the lab never existed. He was with his Mom and he’s always wanted more time with her. His mind didn’t linger on Peter although he wanted more time with the kid as well. He knew he couldn’t pick and choose, just be happy with what he gets. 

“You were always afraid to play Cristofori’s Dream for me.” Maria said. “It’s not a hard song sweetie.”

“It’s your favorite song, Mom.” Tony said. “I don’t want to play it wrong and ruin it for you.” 

“Nothing you do could ruin anything for me.” Maria said. 

Tony’s arms felt like bricks. They dropped down to his side, unable to find the strength to play. He saw his mother watching him. She was smiling, the same smile she always gave to him when she was proud of him. 

“I met Captain Rogers.” Tony said. 

“I heard you also have a son.” Maria said. 

“No...no. Peters just my intern.” Tony frowned. 

“Their both your family.” Maria said.

Tony couldn’t feel anything anymore. He could see his mother, but he couldn’t feel her hand on him. He couldn’t even feel is own hands in his lap. Tony wanted to hug her, even play her that song, but he was starting to drift off into nothing. She was disappearing and he didn’t know what to do. 

“I’m scared Mom.” Tony whispered.

“That’s ok.” Maria said.

“Why me? Why is this happening to me?” Tony mumbled.

“Because you’re a Stark’s son.” Howard Stark said. 

Tony was having a hard time of keeping his eyes open, but he could tell that it was his Father that now sat with him in the crewman's quarters of the alien spaceship. He was dressed in a suit, hair gelled back, lips turned down, eyes burning into Tony. Howard sat at the edge of the bed, laying a hand on Tony’s knee. 

“I don’t understand.” Tony said.

His father had never taken a moment like this with him in real life. It was also curt discussions, sometimes not even that. Tony knew this wasn’t real, Steve, Peter, Maria and Howard. It was all in his head. But he wanted the contact with his father, he wants to be in this moment forever.

“We’re made of iron.” Howard said. “We fight on when no one else can. So I need you to stay awake Tony.”

“You..you called me Tony.” Tony weakly smiled.

“You always wanted me to.” Howard said.

“Dad...I can’t do this.” Tony said.

“You’ve always found a way.” Howard said. “I believe in you.” 

The air was thin, every breath he took in was short. He felt heavy and fuzzy and he wanted to drift off. Tony had imagined death in so many different ways. Most of them painful and long. None of them were like this. Painless and peaceful. 

Maybe dying here was cruel. No one was going to find him, no one even knew he was dying. But he felt like this wasn’t so bad. He didn’t want to go right now when he knew there was things to do. Tony was just accepting there was nothing else he could do at this point. The oxygen was all gone and no matter what his Father asks of him, he can’t cheat death. No one can.  
Tony thought about Pepper and that message he left her. He wondered if it would ever get back to her. If any of the messages he left for people would. Maybe if they did...maybe if they heard his voice one more time...maybe losing him up in space wouldn’t be too hard for them. Tony thought about how Pepper cried when he came back from Afghanistan. There would be more tears this time and he wouldn’t be there to help make them stop flowing. Tony thought about Pepper and he drifted off to sleep.

\---

“What the fuck?” Tony mumbled.

His eyelids were heavy and his sight was blurry. He couldn’t make out what was in front of him or where he was or what was going on. He never believed in a high power, but that never stopped him from thinking about an afterlife. 

“He’s awake.” 

“Tony?”

“Give him a minute, he was basically dead when we found him.”

“Can you guys give us a minute?”

“I need to monitor-”

“Just a minute Banner.”

“One minute.”

Tony didn’t know how many voices there were or if there was actually more than one voice. He thought that it was possible that again he could be making it all up in his head like he was earlier. 

He weakly grabbed at whatever he could get his hands on. He felt so weak, so useless and helpless right here. He grasped onto what seemed similar to bed sheets. The linen was soft and easy to move. He blinked several times to race away his blurry sight. 

“Do you know where you are?” 

He’s heard that voice. The tumble of concern with an ounce of authority. Steve Rogers. Fucking Steve Rogers again.

“You’re not real.” Tony murmured.

“As much as you don’t want to see me Tony, it’s really me.” Steve said.

Tony took in deep breaths, trying to regain oxygen in his system. He doesn’t know what is going on. But he knows he died and he knows what death feels like. Whatever the afterlife is, its just fucking with him. 

He weakly lifted his body to sit up in what he’s guessing is a bed. Steve stood above him, face blank of any emotion. Except for his eyes, they shown. There was something in them that struck Tony. He had seen the Captain happy in many situations, but not like this. That joy felt wrong and false and made up. Because Steve could never still his face. Everything that he thought and felt came through by his facial expressions. 

Tony looked at Steve and thought that wasn’t the real Roger’s and it wasn’t the one he made up on the ship. 

“You’re not fucking real.” Tony hissed. “Let me be dead in peace.”

“What? Tony, no, your alive.” Steve bumbled. “We found-”

“You’re not real! And neither was anyone I saw on that ship!” Tony yelled.

Tony tried to throw himself out of bed, attack the man pretending to be Rogers, but he still wasn’t strong enough and he felt his body start to fall to the ground. Steve caught him, cradling his body close. Tony pushed at him, wanting to escape, tears rolling down his cheeks, sobs wracking my body. 

“You can’t be real because I should be dead.” Tony cried. “I shouldn’t be alive when everyone else died.”

Steve held him tightly as Tony cried, repeating over and over “you can’t be real”. No one thought that Tony would be in this state, but yet again they didn’t know what he went through on that ship. The other woman that was on the ship hasn’t woken to tell them what happened. Steve waited for Tony to try himself out. 

Tony was shaking, but after a few moments he’s calmed down enough for Steve to pull away so he was looking at Tony.

“It’s me, Tony.” Steve whispered. “I’m alive and so are you.”

Steves eye’s still held joy, but Tony watched as Steve’s face contorted into its usual concern and fear. It only broke Tony more to realize that where he sat, in Steve’s strong grip, it was all real. His weak muscles, the tears that wouldn’t stop flowing, the ache in his chest, it was reality. 

“But I...I died.” Tony whispered.

“You did.” Steve said wetly. “Just so you know that scared the hell out of me and everyone else.”

“Steve...I shouldn’t-”

“You should.” Steve said.

He lifted Tony back unto bed. Tony watched at Steve sat down in a chair next to the bed, folding his arms in front of his chest, a small smile gracing his face. Steve was watching him and it made Tony think about the Steve he talked to in the ship. He thought about everyone he talked to in the ship and everything they said and if it was something they meant or if it was just what Tony wanted to hear. Maybe Steve could read his mind because he saw the man relax his arms, holding one out for Tony to hold. Tony grabbed it, feeling Steve’s pulse. Even, steady, calm like he always was.

“You have so much you have to do before you die.” Steve said. “You have people you want to bring back, people who want to see you again, you have people who need you alive right now and you have a peaceful future ahead of you once this is all over. Now...I want to be your friend in this future so...lets start this off by me apologizing and things well fall in place after that. How does that sound?” 

Tony smiled.

“It sounds good to me, Capsicle.” Tony said.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful friend Linn for guiding me in this story. I'm excited for more monday night conversations with you. 
> 
> I know I was suppose to have a third chapter out for my ironstrange fic but oops, my life got crazy with finals and family stuff.
> 
> Please leave a comment, tell me what you think!
> 
> (No Beta, all mistakes are mine)


End file.
